top of page

Useful Tips

For everyday life

IMG_20200714_133241_2 (1).jpg

How to stop anger from

taking over

Suppressed anger may not be as recognisable, but can be displayed as antisocial or unpleasant behaviour, i.e. sarcasm or apathy. Although we do not even realise it others will see external displays as intentional behaviour. And we may never realise what happens internally as a result of suppressed anger.

Fire

Following tips can help you avoid reacting to anger automatically.

  • Be aware of certain aspects of life that makes you angry (this will help you to prepare and response better rather than reacting)

  • Explore the reasons that things cause you to be angry and evaluate these reasons

  • Learn to talk about your feelings

  • Spend quality time with family or those you care about

  • Build your capacity to cope by exercising, taking time to relax

  • Get enough sleep

  • Start a hobby (this does not have to be something take so much of your time, keep it simple so you can do it regularly)

  • Count to 10.

Following tips can help manage stress levels and develop healthy coping skills, stop anger from taking over your life.

  • Be aware of certain aspects of life that make you angry (this will help you to prepare and respond better rather than react)

  • Explore the reasons that things cause you to be angry and evaluate these reasons

  • Learn to talk about your feelings

  • Spend quality time with family or those you care about

  • Build your capacity to cope by exercising, taking time to relax

  • Get enough sleep

  • Start a hobby (this does not have to be something that takes so much of your time, keep it simple so you can do it regularly)

  • Avoid storing anger or cumulating unresolved anger (If you have deep-rooted anger from the past, it may be time to get help in dealing with it)

  • This can be a hard one but learn to let go (forgiving is the best thing you can do for yourself, not for the other person, this will detox your brain and your body)

  • Start your day by speaking out about what you are grateful for and how you would like to end the day.

  • End your day with whatever you can be grateful for (this might just be that you are home safe; some people don’t get to do that)

  • Pray regularly and start noticing what is good in other people (if you have been hurt this will be challenging but will help you to rewire your brain and clear your brain from toxins)

  • Be mindful (Notice and be aware of the physical sensation of anger)

  • Develop a few easy steps that suited to your liking to manage anger when you feel it is starting to affect you.

Anger is a natural emotion 

Anger is a natural emotion and is not something that can be completely avoided, it is there for a purpose, we can practice using it wisely to gain motivation in certain situations, express calmly when necessary to communicate our feelings. Most important thing is that we do not hold on to it or bury it or let it take over. Although experience such as pain and grief can lead to anger the main cause of anger is known to be stress. Managing stress can reduce anger in everyday life.

Although it is not easy to do, however, understanding how anger impacts us psychologically, neurologically, and physiologically, and realising that we have the capacity to control it and prevent the anger from taking over can help us to think about the importance of anger management. 

Unresolved anger is harmful to our overall health, relationships, it will alter our ability to function in every area of life.

Can lead to dissatisfaction at work, social life, inability to concentrate, limited ability to cope with everyday challenges. In some cases, can lead to substance abuse and addiction.  

.

Don't let the Anger Take over your life

 " Better a patient person than a warrior,

one with self-control than one who takes a city"

Book of Proverbs

 

“It made me so angry I wasn’t thinking

How often have you heard this statement and wondered if it is just an excuse

or if there is any truth in it? Let's find out. With the goal of managing anger, 

and avoiding heartache and regrets, we must first understand what it is and how it works.

 

The best way of managing anger is by understanding what it is and learning to be aware of your anger. Anger can be triggered by a number of emotions. Different triggers for different people. The reason people say or do regrettable things is due to the fact they are unaware at the time of how the anger is bypassing rational thinking.

It's important to understand that anger itself is not destructive, like anything in life if we miss use it or get out of control, the outcome can not only be disruptive, excessive anger can turn into rage and impact our physical and emotional health, relationships and simply take over life. The good thing is you can manage it by becoming aware of it.  


 

Understanding the psychology of anger
 

Anger is simply the fear of harm. Anger response causes our muscles to tense up. Neurochemicals are released in the brain creating an energy burst. This burst of energy lasts up to several minutes. During the reaction, heart rate blood pressure and rate of breathing increase. The natural intention during anger is to protect and to attack.  If you don’t do anything to control the anger as you notice the triggers, additional neurotransmitters are released and cause arousal to last longer so you can fight and the emotion can get out of control and can pay attention to nothing else.

Our brain is not only keeping us alive it is also wired to motivate us and protect us from danger. Think about feeling lazy and just don’t want to get up from your chair then you see the Chair is on fire, how quick will you get up and run? The brain went to action instantly sending an adrenaline rush motivating you to act. No time to think but react.

As we already know anger is a reaction or a signal by the limbic system (emotional section of the brain) In such events with extreme emotions., the amygdala (the fear response centre) goes into action without much regard for the consequences.  Since this is not the area of the brain which involves judging, thinking, or evaluating it assumes we are in danger, it bypasses the thinking or logical part of the brain. And prepare our whole body and mind to defend ourselves.

Is it true that people don’t always mean what they say when they are angry?

There is a contradiction in this belief. Some might say, people actually say the truth when they are angry. Both beliefs are true. Because remember without rational thinking it is the emotions talking. Therefore if someone is keeping some thoughts that they feel they shouldn’t or couldn’t share, while experiencing anger without conscious thinking they are likely to say what they are feeling.

On the other hand, they might also say things like, I never want to talk to you again, I don’t care what you think something defensive or reactive. But these statements are not rationally thought and constructed. Sadly, words shared during anger can damage and can create new problems that did not exist at the time.

The force behind the rage

  • Anger shows up when your expectations are lost

  • Anger occurs when experiencing a threat

  • Anger appears as an attempt to hide other emotions such as shame and guilt or offence.

 

The above examples are primary emotions, which are what we feel immediately before we feel anger. So, we see here whatever emotion one feels threatened by (shame, fear, self-doubt) whatever that may be, they will cause us to depend on ourselves emotionally as the adrenaline rushes from the brain we are likely to be aggressive and may even be forceful.  Remember we are not thinking rationally at this point but emotionally.  

This shows why people become defensive when angry. The lesson to remember is people become reactive based on what matters to them or what bothers them the most. These are usually emotions that have some meanings or pain attached to them based on previous experience. The bottom line is when someone is angry, it is not the event or the person that makes them angry, it is what they are feeling and how they respond to the situation. They may not always be angry with you, but what is going on at the time?  However, as we cannot see the internal emotions, we believe it is the person or the event that is visual to us is the source of anger. Hence the anger is usually directed at someone or an event.

So, when and how will it stop?

 

Tips on managing anger

• Listening is one of the most important skills in communication. Listen actively to what people are saying, ask questions if you are uncertain. Don’t assume what they are saying. Assumptions come from our previous experience or knowledge and can derail a conversation or relationship. Focus on here and now. Wait till they finish what they are saying, take a moment and reflect on what you are about to say.

•Try to avoid having serious or important conversations while distressed at the time

  • If someone is angry, try not to take it personally, think about what it is that triggers their anger. What are they defensive about?

  • Try to lower your own voice and prevent yourself from asking provocative questions such as ‘what is wrong with you?’.

  • Try not to explain or carry on the conversation further. Calmly say, ‘I’d like to stop and take a break, let’s talk about it in few minutes. Take time to calm yourself.

  • Engage in breathing exercises for a few minutes

  • On regular bases:

  • Think gratifying thoughts regularly.

  • Get to know yourself and your emotions well

  • Talk about your feelings

  • Welcome constructive criticism

  • Take time to relax

  • Pray/learn calming exercises

  • Exercise regularly

•           Get enough sleep

•           Practice stopping and taking time to think about what you are about to say.

  • Regularly discuss and deal with small concerns before they become complicated.

If you are feeling angry easily and frequently, get help, don’t let it take over your life.

Book a free consultation over the phone. Confidentiality is highly respected.  

 

Benefits of anger management

•           Learning to manage your own anger, understanding how anger works and why people act in the way they do, can bring healing and help resolve lifelong heartaches.

•           Help maintain relationships and effective problem-solving.

Improve overall health

•           Happier workplace.

•           Happier home.

•           Become a better parent, a better partner

•           Becoming more empathetic

•           Building better relationships

•           Gaining new insight

•           Developing better judgement.

•           Become better at effective problem solving

•           Make healthy decisions

•           May even prevent addictions

•           Less psychological problems

 

Anger can be like a fire, can be ignited in many ways, controlled it can be useful, left to its own device can destroy anything in its way. Anything and everything it comes into contact with that isn’t heatproof, can fuel it. But it can be diminished if intervention is early.

If you are experiencing anger problems or living with someone who is, seek help today.

Book your free consultation today.

Effective anger management skills can be learned in individual counselling or in a group setting. Your wellness and privacy are our priority. 

DISCLAIMER
Please note, that the content of this website is for educational purposes only, not to be taken as therapeutic advice. All information shared is based on the evidence-based practice framework of EFL counselling and coaching. If you have any questions or you are needing professional help please contact EFL for a free consultation over the phone or contact your GP.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Image by Icons8 Team
PTS

Relationships

Kindness

Parenting

Change your thinking, change your life.

You have the power over

your thoughts?

Whatever is praiseworthy, meditate on these things"

It is easy to spend too much emotional energy and time on the negativity that is out there and to overlook how much good is in the world, in some cases, to the point of depression. We forget that we have the choice of how much external influence we allow into our lives.  

But there is one voice we cannot escape from, and that is our own. This is the voice every cell in our body listens to and responds to all day, every day. Even what other people tell us is being filtered through our own beliefs before it turns into feelings. So, learn to stop and scan your thoughts.

 

Who and what is influencing your inner voice?

  • What you tell yourself and how you see the world around you.

  • Do you say there is nothing good in this world?

  • Is the negativity piled up over time so high, that you are almost unable to see anything positive?

  • If you seem to notice negative aspects of the situation most of the time, stop and ask yourself, is there anything positive at all about this? intentionally look for something positive. you might even surprise yourself.

Listen to yourself intentionally:

  • Are your words encouraging, kind or discouraging?

  • Do you ever say " I have no choice" it's all my fault?

  • Are your thoughts relevant to what is happening right now?

  • Are they coming from the past that you wish to leave behind?

  • Is what you say about yourself inconsistent with whom you want to be, or who say you are?

  • If the answer to these questions is yes, it is time to test your thoughts for evidence. 

 

Reflecting on your thoughts can have a powerful shift in your state of mindset. A helpful effective exercise for reducing negative and anxious thoughts and improving positive self-talk.

Self worth is about who you are, not about what you do

Are you tired of trying to be good enough?

Next time you struggle with thoughts that can inevitably sends you spiralling toward a depressive mood of low self-worth, here is what you need to know.  

THOUGHTS ARE NOT FACTS.

 

Thoughts are simply information that has been stored in your subconscious mind from experience or mental events. The types of thoughts that automatically pop up will depend on the mood you are in. The rest depends on how you entertain your thoughts. It is easy to get into a pattern o replaying the thoughts and get stuck there, feeling powerless. According to experts, we think between 60,000 – 80,000 thoughts a day" As you can see we don't keep every thought that passes by. So, what is so special about the thoughts we end up holding on to, and why do they have so much power over our lives?

rawpixel-1053184-unsplash.jpg
REframe your thoughts

 When thoughts or an event associated with strong emotions positive or negative, we hold on to that thought and we end up building a belief system based on how that thought makes us feel. Then, our behaviour and decisions begin to flow from that very thought. So, in summary, we have created a world around the information which was brought up by thought without any evidence or proven to be an accurate fact about self or the world around us. The GOOD NEWS is you have the ability to choose and manage which thoughts you allow in and entertain. You have the power to evaluate your thoughts and stop faulty thoughts from intruding and taking over. You have the inbuilt capacity to renew your mind and change your life for the better.

Before starting to test your thoughts, here are some true facts to remember.

YOUR WORTH IS PRICELESS, because, no one can ever be YOU. You are irreplaceable. Because no one else knows how to be YOU. You are unique and beautiful. You are precious. No one can smile exactly like you. There is a purpose only you can fulfill that no one else knows. There is a light God has placed within you, switch it on by believing that you are made to love and to be loved. Start by loving who are. 

But if your self-worth is low, it is going to take a restoration process for you to find your true self-worth.  So instead of using your time and energy trying to be good enough, use the precious time you have been gifted with to find out the truth and joy you have lost.

 

Here is why:

Everything begins with one thought, which then becomes an idea intended to explain something.   Until being proven, it is only a theory.

So, if you feel you are not good enough, there is a pretty good chance you have a theory that has not been proven.  What is this theory adding to your life? It is more like a thief that steals your joy and self-worth, right? It’s time for you to do some investigating. Put your thoughts on trial, find out the truth once and for all.

 

Now you know how thoughts work, would you let every thought control you?

Here is how to start managing your thoughts.

     

Analyse your thoughts

  • When was the last time I felt good enough and what changed?

  • When and how did I decide I am not good enough?

  • Where did this thought/theory come from?

  • How much emotional energy do I invest in this idea?

  • What if these thoughts about me is wrong, who would I be?

  • What exactly does good enough look like? 

  • What evidence do I have for this idea?

  • Whom do I want to be and what is stopping me?

Test your thoughts for evidence

Write down the thoughts that lead you to feel, ‘not good enough’, then write down the evidence that says it is true and write down anything that says it is not true.

Example: you may think you can’t do anything right, so write down this thought. Then look for evidence on what you have done so far, and how many things you did wrong and how many things you did right.

When we have incorrect thinking patterns (cognitive distortion) they become the filter of how we see ourselves and the world. Learning to be aware of our thoughts and checking in can be very powerful. See it as the border patrol in your mind. Chose what you allow to enter. In this fast-paced world, we move from one thing to another automatically, 90 per cent of what we do is done subconsciously. Checking our thoughts regularly can prevent unhelpful and faulty thinking patterns.

**Act (let the new way of thinking become reality).

Actions must follow with a new way of thinking for you to fully realise the new belief is true.

Do something you haven’t done for a while because you thought you were not good enough. Start with something little. (Take baby steps) 

 

Reframe your thoughts:

When the old thought comes back, try not to fight them, acknowledge it’s there. Then say this is just a thought, not a fact, it is not true. Remind yourself what you learned about your thoughts. the evidence you found about your thoughts. Remember, thoughts are not facts you can test them.

Imperfection is part of the human existence and something we all share.  Reassure to self, that your thoughts no longer have the control over you.  Your self-worth come from within, no from the external world. Use every opportunity to grow from and to shine within   Focus on thoughts with kindness, gentleness, generosity, humility, self-control, perseverance, encouragement, grace. And know that self-worth is about who you are, not about what you do. When you learn to love and respect yourself, will not only find joy in life you will spread the joy to others. You will begin to live on purpose. God bless.

Anger

Heading 1

Every time we think neurochemical change take place causing short term and long-term changes in our brain which impact our perception and our way of responding to life circumstances. This process impacts our relationships, the way we see ourselves. Just about everything we do is controlled by our thoughts. This means when we intentionally practise gratitude our brain produces gratifying neurotransmitters, like dopamine, causing us to experience alertness and increasing the sense of contentment. So, imagine how different we feel if we learn to exercise gratitude regularly?

 

It is easy to remember what went wrong at the end of the day as one feels disappointment.  But if we can think consciously and focus on the parts of the day which we can be grateful for, and let it sink in, the long-term benefits can be immense. Our body is designed to create a healthy chemical’s it needs to survive, which we sometimes take in tablet form. So, add gratitude to your self-care plan today.

       Tips on managing your feelings

 

  • Self-talk: Deliberately talk to yourself as you are trying to encourage a good friend. Allow yourself to look for things to be grateful for when negative thoughts come to mind.
     

  • Relaxation; can be used to increase the ability to focus, and when we are calm we see things in a much better light. It can reduce stress levels.
     

  • Be mobile; get out of the house, avoid remaining stationary or spending too much alone.
     

  • Keep a journal about your feelings. This helps to see if there are evidence that every thought you have is true facts.
     

  • Spend time with encouraging people, those who fill your cup. Avoid spending a long period of time with negative or toxic people if you can help it.
    Listen to music that makes you happy.

photo-1536013009411-25930e88d3c7.jpg

Genuine acts of kindness can improve your mental health.


Did you know practicing kindness can slow the aging process?

Don’t underestimate the power you have within to make a difference in someone else’s life

which subsequently changes your own life for the better.

 

There are two beliefs in the world which I have found stop people from

reaching out to others for help or reaching out to those who need help.

1. Most people believe they don’t have the capacity to make a difference in anyone else’s life. This is because when we think of change, we think big. ‘Bigger change, bigger effort’. We start to think of time, money and our skills. Soon it seems too difficult or even impossible.

2. Some believe there is no genuine kindness, rather there always a motive behind it. This is due to an unfortunate experience they may have had in life.

Neither beliefs are true or positive.

The truth is a genuine act of kindness often doesn’t have to be too big it just needs to be GENUINE. When this happens, the impact is powerful and long lasting. For example, when you give your spot in checkout to someone who is in a rush or has a lot fewer items than you. It does not only make them feel grateful, but it also inspires people. One of the powerful things is when people feel grateful, they make better choices and better decisions. You could have made a bigger difference than you think.

The impact of kind acts has multiple benefits that we take for granted or we just ignore. We can be most powerless when we believe we don’t have the capacity to make a difference in anyone else’s life. Most people who are depressed feel this way. The fact is, just as everyone has an intrinsic need for human connection, everyone has the capability to make a connection with another. Making a connection is where kindness starts. Anyone who has practised an act of kindness knows the sense of joy it brings. You know the most amazing thing is, no one can take that feeling away from you, because you did it from your heart. The benefits are instantaneous, for both you and the person you were kind to. The bible said over 2000 year ago, goodness and mercy follow us. Today science says kindness certainly has many aspects of ongoing benefit to a person’s life, and when we’re kind, we inspire others to be kind, kindness is contagious.

 

The scientific facts and the benefits of acts of kindness according to science

 

Serotonin is a neurotransmitter which is responsible for mood stability, and oxytocin is a hormone that plays a part in connection to other people. Studies have found that during acts of kindness both neural chemicals are released. In fact, when this occurs frequently (frequent acts of kindness), the combination of these two chemicals, makes one feel emotionally stable.

Extensive research by Dr. David Hamilton suggests “that oxytocin (that we produce through emotional warmth) reduces levels of free radicals and inflammation in the cardiovascular system and so slows ageing at the source. Incidentally, these two culprits also play a major role in heart disease, so this is also another reason why kindness is good for the heart.” Additionally, kindness is known to slow down ageing and can improve relationships. So being kind is worth the effort.

 

  1. Take a deep breath when someone takes the car park you were aiming at.

  2. Let the pregnant or elderly lady go first in line.

  3. Make sure you park your car in the middle of the marked lines so people like me can get out easily.

  4. Make sure you put that extra pudding you changed your mind about back where you got it from.

  5. Give up your spot in the checkout line for a mother with a crying baby

  6. Pay for someone’s coffee.

  7. Send a thank you card to your service providers

  8. Give a moment of your time for that person you just met at the supermarket, who just like to talk. They may not have a family to go home to.

  9. Sit with a lonely person.

  10. Make small hamper for someone

  11. Take someone’s dog for a walk

  12. Help someone at work if you have the time.

  13. Be kind to the person who got the promotion you were hoping for.   

  14. Bring your neighbour’s bin from the curbside.

  15. Teach your children the value of kindness.

  16. Be polite to the waitress who might make a mistake in your order.

  17. Donate to a charity you know about

  18. Donate toys to a children’s hospital.

  19. Offer your unwanted toys or clothes etc. for someone who in need.

  20. Make Christmas decorations for children of a family who are just separated.

  21. Take your shopping trolly back to the bay

  22. Give your seat in the bus to the person seems to need it more than you.

Act of kindness
thoght changjng

Important tips to consider about Self-help programs or simply wanting to change a habit or two.

  • No two people respond the same way to the same situation. However, most programs are designed to appeal to certain demographics. That doesn’t mean one strategy applies to all Australian men and one for women.

 

  • When dealing with personal and emotional development, strategies must be constructed to suit individuals need/personalised. Your feelings, your beliefs, your history and your current situation play crucial roles in your capacity to restore your mind and habits.

 

  • Any changes and strategies related to your life should be customised in collaboration with you, recognising your strengths, your own values and most importantly with an understanding of what you want.

 

  • Some resources or change plans can be emotional or hard to follow when questions come up, you are stuck with having to answer them yourself.

 

  • Emotions can impact our level of motivation. Circumstances can change without warning. Trying to help yourself when you are emotionally overwhelmed can increase stress and your ability to make rational decisions.

 

  • Simply failing to achieve what you thought was possible can end up making you feel like a failure although it is not your fault. This is often common with health and weight loss plans. Don’t be quick to blame yourself. You have made a good decision to do something about your life. You are NOT a failure, you tried once you are a step ahead, don’t give up now.

 

  • You may have experiences or emotions that trigger self-doubt.  You can be at risk of isolating yourself. Self-help programs cannot cater for this.

 

  • It is important that we turn to a reliable and trustworthy person. Talking to someone doesn’t always give you resolution, however, it can help reduce your stress levels and see things from a different perspective.

 

  • You may want to be independent and manage your own life. If you ever feel you are feeling you are putting in so much effort but feeling so much stress and starting to lose motivation, there is an appropriate kind of support available to help you to get back on track. 

 

  • Please remember, asking for help is not a weakness, it’s a strength you possess. It’s the first step towards change.  It may be the first time you step out of your comfort zone. Make sure you do approach a trusted friend, family or your GP who can guide you in the right direction. Take care.

 

Feel free to contact me or Messenger at EFL if you have any questions at all.

You no longer have to say "I can't help it

Because you have what it takes!

 The latest scientific research evidence shows we can reinforce and improve our brain in ways once believed impossible.  YOU CAN rewire your brain and transform your life. You can learn how to:

 

  • Renew your mind

  • Restore your health

  • Strengthen your relationships

  • Find your purpose.

  • Transform your life.

 

You no longer have to live in the past. You have the capacity to change the way you think and feel. You have the capacity to do what you set your mind to.

lina-trochez-377674-unsplash.jpg
Parenting resourses

Parenting 

daniel-filipe-antunes-santos-1208819-uns

“Train up children in the way they should go,
And when they are old, they will not depart from it.”

The Role of Parenting

 

From birth, children undergo a long, complex developmental process that involves learning and adapting effectively to the world in which they live. Parents play a vital part in facilitating

the process and have the most crucial role to the benefit of society everywhere.

Providing basic needs, education life and life skills are the easiest components. Mediating between the child and the outside world as well as supporting their mental and social wellbeing is imperative.

Modelling what they should learn and apply in all these areas is the best possible way of successful

parenting.
 

As children grow, they need to develop competencies in a range of developmental areas in order to

function adaptively and autonomously in society Some critical developmental areas include physical, emotional, and social development, cognitive, language and moral development. 

development, and moral development. However, in the midst a high level of stress and an everchanging busy lifestyle, many parents are at a loss when it comes to knowing how to facilitate healthy development in a balanced and consistent manner.

• Children are far more likely to comply with a behavioural control that appears fair and

reasonable. Brings about a sense of care rather than control.

 

• Parents combining warmth with rational and reasonable behavioural control become

more effective reinforcing agents; praising their children for striving to meet their

expectations. Making good use of disapproval works best when it is applied by an adult who has been warm and caring and.... a positive role model. 

 

• Authoritative parents let children know that they are competent individuals who can do things successfully for themselves. They do this by making appropriate demands while encouraging autonomy. This allows children the ability to take responsibility for their own behaviour and developing self-esteem.

 

Inappropriate parenting practices

Inappropriate parenting, as objectively defined by ‘child-at-risk’ criteria, is parenting that:

 

• Is based on the parent’s needs

• Demonstrates expectations that are impossible for the child to meet

• Ignores the child’s strengths/limitations/needs and shows an aversion to parenting

 

Adapted by (Davis, Day & Bidmead, 2002).

Inspired by Proverbs 22:6

How counselling can help post-traumatic stress?

 

It is believed that five to ten per cent of people will suffer from posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) at some point in their lives. Understanding of what trauma really is and how it impacts people is the first step in dealing with trauma. My aim is to deepen your understanding of what post-traumatic stress is and help you start living again. Most importantly help you understand it is not your fault and it is not because something is wrong with you. In fact, your brain is doing exactly what it created to do. I understand it is crucial to educate the clients on how our body and mind respond to traumatic stress. The awareness can help recognise warning signs and triggers such as panic attacks and develop useful skills to manage everyday life better.   

Through a comprehensive understanding of the psychological and biological process of trauma, I will support and guide you through your journey.  The root cause of why these early childhood experiences linger in us and manifest later in life has to do with the way our nervous system works. While we were young, we are not able to regulate the nervous system, we do not have the capacity to soothe ourselves to calm ourselves down. Children learn coping skills from their environment whether it is a healthy way of coping or not.  It is common for children to develop unhealthy, damaging coping skills and carry them into adulthood. Traumatic stress leads to significant changes in brain structure and function that cause the person to continue experiencing stress.

Trauma-informed care 

 

Trauma-informed care also known as a strengths-based framework that is responsive to the effects of trauma. This means as your therapist I bring deep understanding and sensitivity to the way you are currently presenting the effects of past trauma.  I empathise with those who struggle to find balance in life while living with someone suffering from PTSD. it is my understanding that when treating clients with PTSD holistic approach is important. I focus on the support network available to my clients and facilitating support and education for them.  If you are unable to or do not wish to access my services I encourage you to see your GP and find the support early as possible.  I conduct free of charge community workshops to help people with PTSD and for the family members.  

Understanding what PTSD is can help you to process what is happening emotionally and physiologically in your life and learn skills to manage and overcome the turmoil caused by trauma. 

I apply a person-centred approach, meaning treating every individual case by prioritising your needs rather than using a standardised method. Contact me for further information on upcoming workshops or check my Facebook page to stay in touch.

 

Get help from a professional who is experienced and trained in treating trauma, and learn how to acknowledge the trauma and avoid self-blame (i.e. I could have stopped it, why can't I get over it).

 

Tips you can develop

  • Avoiding the feeling is tempting and is the easy way, but the avoidance can only give you temporary relief,  avoidance gets you stuck and prevents you from going forward in life. Instead, acknowledge the event and know it is not your fault.   

  • Learn how to mentally create a safe space to run to.   

  • Develop and maintain secure relationships. 

  • Breathing exercise

  • Using five senses

  • Using a weighted blanket

  • Laugh as much as you can.

bottom of page